All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. Ps. 38:9
The number of hairs of my head are known to God. My soul He knows. My sin He knows. My pain He knows. My repentance He knows. My longings for renewal He knows. God reads me like an open book. He is not shocked or surprised. He isn’t amazed at my sin. I cannot hide anything from Him.
David’s cries in Psalm 38 are vulnerable. He is weak. He is fragile. I weeps for God’s protection and love. Who on earth wants anything different, really? God does not hide. Though we feel far away–He is close. He is the sun rising in the morning, the breath in our lungs, the song on our lips, the hope of a better tomorrow. God is always there.
I, on the other hand, stray. I turn my back. I walk away slowly at times, and sprinting at others. I feel the pull to connect coming from him and I hesitate. I pause. He sees me though. He knows me.
God, all of who I am lays open before you. I cannot hide from you. Forgive me when I try.